Sambil membetulkan posisi kamera, Rio menyisir rambutnya supaya kelihatan rapi. Dia merancang untuk memuatnaik video baru di YouTube. Video itu adalah kesinambungan dari video melelanya sebelum ini. Dia juga berhasrat untuk memberitahu semua penonton tentang apa yang telah terjadi kepada Ammar dan Zakwan.

Setelah semuanya sedia, dia mula menarik nafas panjang. Kali terakhir dia memuatnaik video di YouTube, keluarga dan rakan-rakan rapatnya diganggu oleh golongan ekstremis anti-LGBT. Dia tidak tahu sama ada perkara yang sama akan berulang lagi atau tidak. Buat seketika, dia hanya memandang sayu pantulan dirinya di skrin komputer riba. Matanya yang sembap cuba untuk ditutup dengan solekan yang dipinjam dari Intan. Namun, ianya masih kelihatan di bawah sinar lampu LED yang terpasang untuk memberinya lebih cahaya.

Dengan penuh rasa gemuruh, butang record ditekan.

"Hey everyone! It's Rio Shabiro and you're watching The Rio Channel."

Jeda. Rasa gemuruhnya mula menguasai. Namun, Rio tahu dia tidak boleh berpatah balik. Dia perlu memuatnaik video baru itu untuk menyampaikan mesej keamanan dan kesedaran.

"It...has been such a long time since I posted a video. And...a lot has happened. I'm sure those who's been following me are aware of this. And for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, I was referring to incidents that have happened to me, my family and my friends after I made a big announcement about me being gay."

Rio berhenti untuk menarik nafas buat seketika.

"For those of you who have continuously been sending your loves and support to me, thank you very very much! Your kindness means a lot to me. Thank you so much for accepting me for who I am and thank you for accepting my existence in this world. Indeed, the supports that I have received give a different kind of strength to me. I love you all and I love how we are progressing in this country."

"Unfortunately...this video is not about all the positive reactions that I received. It's...going to focus more on the negatives. I have bad news to share to all of you. The bad news is...I..."

"...sorry, I mean...WE...still have a lot of haters out there. The positive comments that I received can never beat the negative ones that have been flooding my social media inboxes from the minute I came out of the closet. Now...I see the truth. Now I know that as much as we want to progress as a nation, there are still people out there who can never accept us for who we are. They don't want to tolerate our very existence. Some of them even want us dead! And I'm not kidding. I've been receiving death threats."

"Actually, nak cerita dari mula pun rasanya macam panjang sangat story dia. Lepas je Rio posted that video on YouTube, my parents got into a big fight because...apparently that video has influenced some of my juniors at school to also embraced their sexuality. For teachers, what I did has given negative impacts towards the other students especially the young ones. And they cannot accept that. But alhamdulillah...my parents have now reconciled and my dad can finally accept me for who I am. I hope that he's not forcing it. Because I don't need people to fake their acceptance of me. That's not accepting, that's just tolerance. And tolerance is not what I am looking for."

"To tell you the truth, it was never my intention to influence other people to also come out of the closet. I never asked them to tell the whole world who they truly are. I just want them to know that they are not alone. I want them to know that I am willing to represent them. I am willing to represent those who have embraced their sexuality and those who are still in the closet. Like I said before, representation matters. Sometimes it's what makes people continue to live. So kepada sesiapa yang tersalah faham dengan niat yang cuba Rio sampaikan, I hope this video will make you understand."

"Now, I don't really want to go deeper on my story. Yes...I admit it that what I did has changed the way people see the LGBT community in the country. And I don't know if I was the reason why...but...the anti-LGBT group that I mentioned in my previous video, have resurfaced and I have been a victim of their harassment. They were the one who sent me death threats and one of them even followed me around for awhile. They can scare me all they want but what they don't know is that they can never stop me from being who I am and from fighting the rights of the LGBT community in this country."

"Recently, a very good and close friend of mine, let's call him 'A', also came out of the closet by announcing to the whole school that he is gay. And right before that, he was involved in a big fight with the straight boys at school who were hitting my other very good and close gay friend, let's call him 'B', because the straight boys just can't let him live peacefully. They decided to hit them because mommy and daddy at home never hugged them and never taught them about tolerance and how not to be a douchebag in the 20th century."

"So yeah. It was such a big mess to the extent that 'B' is hospitalized for almost two weeks now. And sadly, 'A' got kicked out by his parents right after he told them the truth about his sexuality."

Air mata Rio mula berkaca.

"I felt like I am responsible for what happened to both of my friends. They were just inspired by what I did. They thought that coming out of the closet was a good idea. My parents may have accepted me for who I am, but not all parents are like that. Hell, my dad had to digest the fact that his son is gay and finally embraced it after three years! So I know...I know it's not easy for parents to accept their gay children."

"But...I just feel very responsible for what happened to 'A' and 'B'."

Rio mula menitiskan air mata. Dia menguisnya dengan jari telunjuk sambil menyedut hingus yang terbentuk di dalam rongga pernafasan. Terlalu sukar untuk dia meneruskan rakaman video itu.

"...I feel very responsible for what happened to them."

Rakaman cuba disambung semula. Semangat yang tinggal dalam dirinya dikutip sedikit demi sedikit untuk dijadikan benteng pertahanan paling utuh dari menangis di hadapan kamera. Pantulan dirinya pada skrin komputer riba itu ditatap lama. Air matanya masih deras mengalir. Dia tahu ramai yang akan menonton videonya itu. Jadi, dia mengambil kesempatan ini untuk memberikan satu mesej yang dapat mengubah persepsi orang ramai tentang golongan LGBT.

"Can't we all just live peacefully? Can't we just let people live their lives without hatred? I know that what I did was wrong. Can we all just leave the innocent people alone? They're my friends...and I love them. I don't want them to get hurt. I don't want them to go through hell just because they're...gay..."

Rio tidak dapat membendung dirinya lagi. Matanya berubah menjadi merah dan pipinya mula comot dengan bekas air mata. Dia tersedu-sedu di hadapan kamera. Terlalu sukar untuk dia meneruskan rakaman. Hatinya runtun mengenang kembali apa yang telah terjadi kepada Zakwan dan Ammar. Video yang sedang dirakamnya itu memang didedikasikan khas buat mereka berdua. Rio sedar bahawa implikasi terhadap videonya sebelum ini telah membawa padah. Rakan-rakannya kini terluka. Dia menyalahkan dirinya sendiri.

"I really hope that one day...we can just live peacefully. I really hope that I could see a better world and a better nation. Because as far as I know, all of us gays, we never asked God to make us like this. We are gays because we are gays! And we are still human beings who need to respected, to be honoured and to be given the rights to live our lives like everyone else."

"I hope this video will open everyone's eyes. If you wanna punish me for the video that I posted last time, just punish me. Please don't hurt my friends. Please don't. I'm begging. I love them so much. Please don't hurt them. Just please...don't..."

Rakaman akhirnya ditamatkan. Tanpa melengahkan masa, Rio mula melakukan sedikit suntingan dan segera memuatnaik video itu ke dalam akaun YouTube-nya. Deskripsi dan tajuk video itu telah dimasukkan terlebih dahulu sebelum rakaman tadi dimulakan. Rio menanti dengan penuh tabah sehingga video itu selesai dimuatnaik. Air matanya yang masih bersisa, diseka. Dia mencapai tisu di atas kabinet dan menyapu hidungnya yang bertakung dengan hingus.

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Dia segera berkongsi video itu di semua akaun media sosialnya.

Sebaik selesai, dia terus mematikan komputer ribanya.

"Again...another brand new day..." bisik Rio.

Buat seketika, dia langsung tidak berganjak. Dia sedang risau memikirkan tentang keadaanAmmar dan Zakwan. SPM semakin hampir. Tetapi mereka kini sedang dalam kesakitan. Mereka tidak dapat hadir ke sekolah atas arahan doktor. Bagaimana kalau mereka tidak dapat menduduki SPM nanti? Rio mula khuatir sekiranya perkara itu terjadi. Dia rasa sangat bersalah kerana telah menjadi punca rakan-rakannya mungkin tidak dapat menduduki peperiksaan yang bakal menentukan masa depan mereka nanti. Tidak semena-mena, air matanya mengalir lagi. Kali ini lebih deras dari tadi. Tersengguk-sengguk tubuh Rio menangisi nasib Ammar dan Zakwan. Dia menyembam wajahnya di atas meja dan terus terusan menangis sehinggalah ke petang.