Aku mencapai selendang itu dan membuka balutannya. Terdapat kitab suci Al-Quran di dalamnya. Kitab yang pernah kupinjamkan pada Angie. Aku masih tidak memahami apa yang sedang berlaku. Di mana Angie?

“And this is for you.” Kata wanita itu seraya menghulurkan sepucuk surat. Lalu kubukakannya perlahan-lahan.

In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

My dearest Ammar Azka,

What a perfect day, isn’t it? Congratulations ! I do believed you graduated with flying colors.

I seems odd to start this letter with ‘My Love’ rather than ‘Dear’. My life has certainly taken quite a turn.

By the time you read this, I’m far, far away from you. We’re totally ‘separated’.
Though we have been apart these years, I always believed that life would bring us back together. That hope was a comfort and gave me the patience to wait for that future. But as time has passed, it is pretty clear that the hope and faith that I have for the future have drifted further and further away from us. I guess it is finally time for me to acknowledge, that our futures will definitely take different ‘paths’.

There’s so much things to justify, so much things that I’ve hide from you. But it is not my intention to be secrecy, as I’m not ready to tell you everything. I don’t want you get hurt because of me. I always hope that He will gives you lots of strength to face the truth and faith that had written.

Do you remember about my mom’s clinic at Brindsby and me going back to my hometown every week? The clinic was not exist actually. I lied to you. The truth is, I’m going back to Colchester every week to be present at my routine check up with my mom. I’d been diagnosed with leukemia. It’s terrible, I know.
I bet you must be wondering about my mom’s relocation to Johannesburg after the summer. I lied, too. News that I received on phone call during at Shubra was so sadden and you have no idea how petrify it was. It was a call from Dr. Quinn, my personal doctor. She said, my disease getting worse and it was already in the critical stage. I only have 3 months to live.

As I’m counting my days, I was so blessed with the Holy Quran that you lent me. I took chances to learn and discover about your religion. Finally, I converted to Islam and moved back to Egypt to deepen my awareness about Islam. Besides, I feels like wanna evoke my memories with you there back then.

You just have no idea how much I missed you. My eyes missed your smile. My ears missed the sound of your deep voice. I missed being near you. You have grabbed hold of my heart and embraced it like no one else ever has.

So, this is goodbye. I will miss you Ammar, just as I have in every moment in the last 873 days that I have been away from you. I’m so sorry if you get hurt. Sooner or later, you’ll find out about this too. Silence is good, but sometimes you can’t keep things unspoken forever. Keep that shawl, that’s will help you to have a thought of me for every single moment in your life.
Thinking of you fondly,
Angie @ Anaqah Demi Neil

Setitik demi setitik airmataku menitis di atas helaian surat yang kusam itu. Al-Quran kupeluk erat. AllahuAkhbar, Di dalam hidup, banyak orang yang datang dan pergi Allah telah menjumpakan kita dengan orang-orang yang Dia telah gariskan dalam catatan takdir. Mereka pun datang silih berganti Ada yang melintas dalam segmen singkat, namun membekas di hati. Ada yang telah lama berjalan beiringan, tetapi tak disadari arti kehadirannya Ada pula yang begitu jauh di mata, sedangkan penampakannya melekat di hati. Ada yang datang pergi begitu saja seolah tak pernah ada. Maka sudah fitrah, bila ada pertemuan pasti ada perpisahan.. Di mana ada awal, pasti akan ada akhir.

Akhir sebuah perjalanan, ia akan menjadi awal bagi perjalanan lainnya… Sebuah perpisahan, ia akan menjadi awal pertemuan dengan sesuatu yang baru… Allah SWT adalah sebaik-baik perancang… Sungguh saat ini kurasa perih pada kehilangan ini namun aku tetap bersyukur pada takdir pertemuan yang telah diatur antara aku dan Angie.